projects without patterns

I was digging around in my many bags of projects looking for an extra size 4, 16 inch, circular needle. I found one, but attached was a started tam. These projects are always interesting to explore several months, or occasionally, years, from their inception. What was I thinking? Did I have something in mind for this? Was there a theme? I have picked up the needles and will finish the band so I can free them for another project that is currently crossing my mind. I do occasionally knit patterns, in fact this winter I have become fixated on a cowl pattern that is very controlled and counted and, in fact, what I want the size 4 needles to start my fourth Ptarmigan (the name of the pattern). Now my tams do follow a basic pattern I have devised, so they will at least be wearable, however the reason I enjoy them is the escape from control. Knitting, for the most part, has become my form of meditation. And even when knitting a more formal pattern I tend to pick ones that will allow the fingers to be active, but the mind to wander. Or the mind to be empty. Truly, a meditation.
We had a dinner gathering last night of old college friends who had lived in the student Coops in the late sixties and early seventies. Many of us spent the fall of 1970 through the spring of 1971 in Stebbins Hall. People had come from as far away as North Carolina, and Alaska for this event. Joined by wives and various friends of the group is was an interesting mix of doctors, lawyers, venture capitalists, city planners, biologists, teachers, mailmen, biochemists, machinists, and myself, the late in life piano technician. A well traveled group, some with more capital than the machinist and the piano technician, there was much talk of our recreational activities. I've yet to come up with an exciting explanation for my enjoyment of hours of knitting, especially when many of those hours are spent sitting on the ground next to stream keeping track of the fisherman. Well not really the ground, I do have a low chair I carry with me everywhere. Being that we are in the winter months of what has been a very cold winter, sitting next to a stream in the sun has a very romantic appeal right now. And the uncontrolled hours of meditation are only a few months away. For now I will have to content myself to sunny spot upstairs, and maybe I can convince the cat he should share the chair.